Free 2 Scream: A Guide for Support: Empowering Victims of Abuse and Their Advocates to Discover Their Voice.
Posted by Improving Lives Counseling Services, Inc. | Articles, Mental Health, Therapy
I had an ex who assaulted me after being caught cheating. When I kicked him out of my house, he sued me for illegal eviction, for furniture he claimed to have bought for me, and for $10k in pain and suffering. He had the court order sent to my workplace to further embarrass me. However, he didn’t know that I am an open book when I choose to be. So, I took a week off work, got my mind right, and prepared for court. The judge dismissed the claims for 10K for pain and suffering and illegal eviction claims, as he was never a resident in my home, but ruled that I had to return the furniture.
Readers, be careful who you allow into your home and your life. This man actually tried to claim ownership of my home! Abusers will try to break you physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Being ordered to return the furniture was the best decision for me, as seeing that dark furniture would have constantly reminded me of him and his lies and abuse. I was granted an order of protection because of the undisputed proof I had of the abuse that evening. The protective order has since expired, and I am sure he will try to get it expunged from his records so that other unsuspecting women won’t know about his abusive history. However, I stand firm that the first time someone lays hands on me will be the last. I will no longer be silent and allow them to move on and abuse the next person without any record of their wrongdoing.
This time of year, many people take time to reflect on the things they are grateful for. As I think about what I am most thankful for, one thing stands out: the unwavering support of my friends and family. They have been there for me, even when I lacked the strength to walk away from an abusive relationship. I’ve been in more than one toxic relationship and, unfortunately, found myself going back to an abuser time and time again. The support of loved ones who don’t judge, who offer honest advice, and who stand by you when you need them most is truly priceless. It’s important for victims to remember that the people who love them, and are aware of the abuse, are also deeply impacted by the situation.
When victims of abuse continue to stay with or return to their abusers, it can lead to frustration among friends and family, who may respond with comments like, “Don’t tell me about it anymore,” “You’re being foolish,” or “Why don’t you just leave?” These reactions stem from the emotional investment loved ones have in the victim’s well-being. They often experience feelings of anger, sadness, and even outrage when they see the victim go back to an abuser. Unfortunately, these responses can discourage the victim from opening up about the abuse, leaving them feeling more isolated and vulnerable.
If you have a friend or loved one in an abusive relationship, the best way to support them is by being there when they need you, without judgment. It’s important not to cut them off just because you’re frustrated with the situation or upset that they keep returning to the abuser. One way to manage your own emotions is by documenting the abusive incidents, whether through a dated journal or time-stamped emails. Keeping a record can be crucial for victims when they decide to report the abuse. My hope is that both victims and survivors eventually reach a point where they are “Free 2 Scream,” free to speak out and reclaim their voices.
I speak from my personal lived experiences. Please note that abusers come in all genders, races, economic statuses, and sexual orientations.
You can find additional ways to help victims of abuse in my book “Free 2 Scream”: A Guide for Support: Empowering Victims of Abuse and Their Advocates to Discover Their Voice.
Rochelle “Gina” Wilson
By integrating these strategies into your daily life, you can effectively manage anxiety and build a more resilient mind. Each approach offers unique benefits, and together they create a comprehensive toolkit for enhancing your mental well-being. Embrace these practices to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and confidence.
Unlock your potential with Improving Lives Counseling Services — where experienced therapists are dedicated to helping you achieve a better life today!
