Finding Your True Self: Navigating the Pressure to Conform
Posted by Improving Lives Counseling Services, Inc. | Articles, Mental Health
Today, a chorus of voices tells us who to believe, what to believe, when to act, and how to respond. A growing divisiveness urges people to pick a side, join a faction, align with a team, or engage in conflict. It sometimes feels like independent thinking is prohibited – like existing as one’s “authentic self” is taboo. Remember when Christina Aguilera in 2002 sang, “I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down,” or when Madonna declared in 2010, “I’m beautiful in my way, ’cause God makes no mistakes,” and in 2017 when The Greatest Showman gave us the powerful anthem “This Is Me,” with a bold declaration of, “I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me!”
Loss of the authentic self or feeling like you’re in an unrecognizable world that’s spinning around while you try to live according to your desires, values, and beliefs can lead to stress, anxiety, anguish, fear, self-doubt, and depression. The licensed counselors and therapists at Improving Lives Counseling Services specialize in treating cognitive distortions, automatic thoughts, feelings of estrangement, and loss of authentic self.
THE AUTHENTIC SELF
Being your authentic self means staying true to your values and beliefs. It goes beyond location, occupation, or achievements, focusing instead on aligning your life with what truly matters to you. Embracing your genuine identity involves making decisions based on what you truly want and believe. The authentic self is self-aware, recognizing strengths, limitations, and aspirations, while remaining honest and upholding integrity across cultural, social, economic, and political contexts.
Challenges To Authenticity
Living a life where one is willing to stand alone, challenge the norm, or take an unconventional path in the face of intimidating external pressures and expectations can be tough. Fear of judgment, cultural conditioning, social norms, and expected roles or behaviors can hinder the desire to be authentic. Accepting a job, marrying, moving to the country, or starting a family might not align with one’s true desires, values, and beliefs. The challenge is to abandon the authentic self or to face estrangement.
ESTRANGEMENT
Failure to agree with headlines, news pundits, and social media posts on political, social, and/or cultural issues can make acceptance a corridor difficult to navigate. A child sitting alone in a lunchroom on the first day of school, a woman walking into an all-male environment, a new boss in a hostile workplace, or a newly widowed woman reconnecting with friends can lead to feelings of estrangement. Prioritizing authenticity over buying stylish clothes, driving an electric car, attending a popular church, living in a trendy neighborhood, supporting a local candidate, or having the “right” friends can result in emotional distancing from family, work, and social networks.
Living an authentic life can cause emotional estrangement. Normalizing these feelings can lead to a loss of self-esteem, distrust in decision-making, conflicts in relationships, negative self-talk, and self-loathing. Factors such as culture, race, religion, economics, environment, and politics can contribute significantly to emotional estrangement and function as impediments to living authentically.
Physical Effects
The mind and body work together. Failure to be one’s authentic self or to be allowed to live an authentic life can affect both physical and mental wellbeing. Chronic stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation can cause headaches, muscle tension, insomnia, fatigue, weakened immune systems, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Estrangement caused by a failure to comply or a driving need for the authentic self can cause muscle pain, skin rashes, and symptoms of vertigo.
SUMMARY
People of all ages, from all walks of life, are talking about social issues, education, economics, and politics. Newspapers, media, TV, and the internet make it impossible to avoid. Even patients in doctors’ and dentists’ offices and hospital waiting rooms are sharing conspiracies, phenomenon, facts, and non-facts. The insistence that everyone pick a side, join a team, fight for, or support an issue, can squash one’s authentic self – causing emotional distortions, and mental health disorders.
“Every minute you face a fear, you are one minute less afraid.” Improving Lives Counseling Services’ team of licensed, professional counselors and therapists will provide the skills, techniques, and self-care tools needed to face the fears of estrangement, as you identify and live your authentic self. Call us 918-960-7852 to learn more.
