The Unseen Impact of Stroke: Mike’s Journey Through Mental Health Challenges
Posted by Improving Lives Counseling Services, Inc. | Mental Health
My name is Mike. My wife, my children, my family and even my friends have grown distant. Today, I have the courage to say it was my fault, though last year, last month, even last week, I would not have admitted it. Why? Because I had the perfect life: a beautiful wife, two great kids, a house on the hill, four classic cars, and my dream job. Fortune had smiled on me, or so I thought. An annual physical required by my employer changed everything. I was a department head, a Vice President, celebrating 10 years with the company. Why would my boss add a mental health competency test to my annual physical? With so much talk about mental health, I had heard that large companies were requiring it. I just found it strange that my company was requiring it of me.
THE INCIDENT
With my wife and kids in the car, I came to a sudden stop and passed out. It was only for a few minutes, but everyone overreacted. My wife and kids started screaming, and my daughter called 911. My son, sitting in the front passenger seat, reached over, put the car in park, and turned on the hazard lights. The police and ambulance arrived, and I was taken to the emergency room, where I was diagnosed with having had a stroke. I was sure they were wrong; no one in my family had ever had a stroke. Besides, I felt fine.
A week later, while having coffee with my wife, she asked, “What’s wrong?” I felt fine and begrudgingly said, “Nothing.” She frowned and asked why I was yelling. I wasn’t yelling, or so I thought. Days later, at my son’s big game, a neighbor grabbed me and said, “Stop, what are you doing?” I had no idea what he was talking about. “You need to get some help!” Who? Me? A week after that, my boss asked me to leave a meeting. He said I was being rude and disruptive – he followed me to my office and suggested I talk to a therapist. I knew I was a bit anxious and at times frustrated, but my kids ignoring me to avoid my mood swings was a problem – just not enough to make me do anything about it.
Like others, I ignored everyone’s advice, and things quickly spiraled out of control. A year and a half later, I had lost my wife, my children, and most of my friends. The pain of divorce was the most challenging to endure. I lost my sense of identity, my social status, and at times, even my will to live. My grieving process deteriorated, leaving me questioning, “What now?” Psychologists suggest that divorce is harder on men than on women, and I can confirm that from my own experience. I was consumed by anger, hurt, and a struggle to rebuild my life. Perhaps that’s why, instead of terminating my employment, my boss insisted on a mental health competency test. I had no idea at the time that he was, in fact, saving my life.
THE DISEASE – FRONTAL LOBE DAMAGE
Regardless of sex or age, stroke patients should consider seeking mental health care due to the profound emotional and psychological effects a stroke can have. My stroke led to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. Cognitively, I struggled with memory, thinking, concentration, and comprehension. By the time I was referred to a therapist, I was experiencing problems with vision, balance, falling asleep, staying asleep, nightmares, and self-care coordination. I was lost in self-talk, overthinking every project at work, failing to make decisions, overeating, abusing alcohol, taking pills, and – dare I say it – behaving badly. I had stopped working out and maintaining my home, even neglecting to cut the grass, which led to notices from the homeowner’s association. My personality had taken a turn for the worse – yes, I was suicidal.
For a full year following my stroke, the people who loved and cared about me the most tried to help. My boss and co-workers suggested I talk to someone; even the doctor who diagnosed my stroke recommended seeing a counselor or therapist. I wish I had listened. The stroke didn’t destroy my life, succumbing to the stigma around mental health did.
SUMMARY
The stigma around mental health prevents hundreds of thousands of people from seeking the care they need. Even today, in 2024, there are cultural and ethnic groups that frown upon questioning one’s mental well-being. Mike’s story is like so many others; his family, friends, co-workers, and bosses saw the signs and suggested mental health care. Mike waited too long to save the family and life he loved. You and those you love don’t have to. The specific symptoms and severity of a stroke’s effects depend on the location and extent of the brain damage. The licensed, professional, highly-trained counselors and therapists of Improving Lives Counseling Services treats psychological illnesses, behavior disorders, and symptoms associated with damage to the frontal, temporal, parietal, cerebellum, and occipital areas of the brain due to stroke. Depression, anxiety, mania, emotionalism, anger, despair, panic, and grief are all treatable. Prompt mental health care is crucial. Call 918-960-7852 to learn more.
