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Postpartum Romance: How You Can Stay Connected to Your Partner

photo of couple holding a baby

Having a child is a beautiful and wondrous gift, but it does come with plenty of stress. With so much attention devoted to the baby, it’s easy to lose closeness with your partner. Fear not: it isn’t gone forever. By performing baby duties together, leaving love notes, making romantic gestures, planning date nights, and taking needed breaks, you can keep your relationship strong.

Do baby-related tasks together.

If your to-do list was long before, it’s probably tenfold now that there’s a new baby. Every chance you get, perform these tasks together. For example, try making breastfeeding a team activity. Dad can make sure mom has a comfortable spot, a big glass of water to stay hydrated, and a snack in case she gets hungry. He can even help get the baby in just the right position to properly latch. Mom can let dad sit in on feedings, share her feelings and experiences with dad, and take the opportunity to ask for what she needs. Diaper changes can also be a group effort. While one parent changes, the other can help keep the baby still, distract them with toys, or sing to them to make the entire process smoother. By making these kinds of responsibilities include both parents, you can each grow to appreciate each other even more.

Leave love notes.

Despite what romcoms have told you, love notes don’t have to be pages upon pages. The point is to make the recipient feel loved and appreciated. There are lots of fun ways to do it: leave a post-it in their bathroom drawer, send a greeting card in the mail, or email them from work to tell them you’re thinking about them. Some can be on the funnier side with little jokes and rhymes, but there should be plenty that leans on the sweeter side. Write what you love about them as a parent, what made you fall in love with them, what you appreciate about them, and how excited you are to be on this adventure with them are just a few ideas.

Make romantic gestures.

If you’re ready to go bigger than love notes, there are plenty of other romantic gestures you can make. Plan a special date night, even if it’s just an hour long. If you can’t or aren’t ready to leave the baby with a sitter yet, dress up anyway and have a candlelit dinner right at your table. Better yet, a candlelit indoor picnic! Send them flowers for no reason at all — if you’re creative, you can go online and design your own bouquet. Otherwise, you can choose from curated combinations. You can even go for a double-gift like FruitFlowers flower bouquets for a snack and a sight! Make the gesture especially meaningful when you can. Making their favorite dinner for date night or incorporating their favorite fruit into a bouquet is a unique touch that shows how well you know them.

Take breaks.

You read that right: take breaks. You need them. Of course, you love your baby to the moon and beyond, but in order to be the best parent you can be, you must step away every once in a while. When you avoid burnout, it’s easier to manage your duties. Together you and your partner can watch a movie, play a game, or simply sit and talk. Separately, you can read a book, take a nap, or even play on your phone. This break time is significant for parents who work from home!

Being a parent is a serious job, as is keeping your romantic life going strong. So, share those baby responsibilities, leave love notes, make romantic gestures, and take breaks. Work at it, and your commitment will make it all worth it. Explore Improving Lives Counseling Services to see how we can help you strengthen your relationships.